Up to my knees in pee!

Potty-training was going pretty well for toddler boy until about two weeks ago.  For some reason, he decided he no longer wanted to use the potty.   As announced by him, “I going to be a baby again!”  I’ve heard that kids can regress during potty-training, and that it can be completely normal.  Fine.  But I personally think it’s laziness on toddler boy’s part.   I think he gets so busy playing that he simply doesn’t want to take a break to potty.  Instead, he would rather have a catch-all if you will, so that he can continue playing without interruption.  There have been several times when I’ve said, “Let’s go potty”, to which he replied, “No, I not have to potty right now.”  Within minutes, he would pee or poop in his diaper.  Yes, I know now that I should have insisted he go on the potty and not just take his word for it…but I was trying to not be overbearing.  Didn’t work. 

This past weekend, we let toddler boy pick out his very own underwear.  We thought that might encourage him to start going on the potty again.  We told him that when he goes a full week without peeing or pooping in his pull-ups or diapers during the day, he could start wearing big boy underwear.  He seemed very excited and motivated at the prospect of wearing his Cars underwear.  In fact, he proudly clutched them tightly in his arms throughout the rest of our shopping adventure, reminding us every so often that he was going to be a big boy now, not a baby.  We let him try them on when we got home, hoping that might seal the deal even tighter!  He was so excited.  He even ran to our full-length mirror to get a closer inspection – front, back, front, back.  We just knew this was the motivation he needed!

Not an hour later, toddler boy peed in his pull-up.  Not what we were hoping for.  Plan B – I told Kelli that since I was at home with toddler boy everyday, I wanted to try a technique that I’ve heard about – “naked from the waist down”.  Kelli’s immediate reaction was that she didn’t want our toddler running around without pants on everyday.  I assured her that I would of course put pants on him if we left the house and that this technique would hopefully not last more than a week because it would magically work!!  She finally relented.

Today has been the first official ‘naked from the waist down’ day. I even told toddler boy that one of our bathrooms is officially his bathroom now.  Our house used to be a daycare, so one of our bathrooms is actually built for little ones – small toilet, low sink, etc.  Because toddler boy is quite small for his age, I still had to place a step stool by the toilet in order for him to reach it by himself.  I told him that if mommy was busy with baby girl, or making lunch, etc…he could just go on in by himself now.  We even did a practice run so he knew how!  I successfully got toddler boy to go on the potty four times from 8:30am-11:30am.  Piece of cake!  I’ll have him fully potty-trained by the end of the week, no problem!  Quite pleased with how things were going, I decided to get some things listed on eBay so I could earn some money to get my hands on that diet coke I’ve been eyeing!   I let the kids play in the back room (which is right next to the office that I was working in) and watch a little PBS Sprout. 

At noon, I noticed it got very quiet in the back room.  I got up from my desk and quietly entered the room to see how the kids were doing.  I noticed baby girl sitting on the floor next to the sofa playing in water.  I figured she must have shaken her sippy cup yet again to create a puddle to play in.  The girl LOVES to play in water (especially the dog’s water)!  On the sofa sat naked from the waist down toddler boy, hiding his face in his hands.  I know this look.  I know this look well.  This look means I did something terribly naughty and I’m going to hide so I can’t see your disapproving look.  Then it hit me.  That wasn’t water that baby girl was playing in…it was PEE!  I will admit it…I almost threw up in my mouth a little bit.  I’m somewhat of a germophobe, not to mention I get grossed out easily.  You would think that having two little ones would have cured me of that…but no…I still have my moments.  I calmly picked baby girl up just right so that the pee dripping from her body didn’t touch me.  I carefully undressed her and gave her the quickest bath ever.  I then popped her into her baby bed so that she would stay out-of-the-way.  I went back into the back room armed with paper towels and Clorox wipes.  The entire time, toddler boy is just sitting there with his head buried in his hands. 

Once the area was thoroughly disinfected, I had a heart-to-heart with toddler boy.  Although he never did verbalize why he peed on the floor, he did show an enormous amount of guilt and shame.  He definitely knew he shouldn’t have done that.  I told him that I know sometimes it’s frustrating to stop what you’re doing to go to the bathroom, but that everybody has to do it.  I gave him some silly examples of people doing things, and then mentioned that they had to pee, and had toddler boy choose the correct solution.  For example, and I apologize Papa, I gave him the scenario of Papa mowing.  “Papa is mowing his yard, and all of a sudden he has to pee.  Do you think he just pee’s on the riding lawn mower, or do you think he stops to go inside and pee?”  Toddler boy got me on this one.  He said Papa could just pee outside on the fence (because we once let toddler boy pee outside when we were playing in the sprinkler).  But I think he got the point of my exercise…to stop what you’re doing and go potty. 

After lunch, I took baby girl into the bedroom to change her diaper before putting her down for a nap.  I asked toddler boy to go potty before his nap as well.  Once I got baby girl down, I went to check on toddler boy.  As I approached his bathroom, I knew something questionable had happened due to the fact that toddler boy’s face was in his hands again as he sat motionless on the potty.  I looked down, and the floor, toilet, and step stool were covered in pee.  I did much better this time in that baby girl wasn’t playing in it!  I still don’t know how that happened as toddler boy wouldn’t fess up, but I think maybe he just didn’t get his, umm….pee-pee, tucked in enough.  That’s what I’m sticking with anyway.  The thought of him purposefully peeing yet again on the floor just makes me too agitated. 

He’s now down for a nap.  I only hope the 2nd half of the day goes smoother than the first.  Did I say I could have him fully potty-trained by the end of the week?!  I reserve the right to change that declaration at any time! 🙂

The New Bean Bag!

The other day, Kelli, toddler boy, baby girl, and I all went to Wal-Mart for our weekly shopping trip.  However, lately it’s more like our bi-weekly shopping trip because we now coordinate it with Kel’s paycheck!  Since we hadn’t shopped in about two weeks, we seemed to be out of EVERYTHING!  As usual, Kel grabbed a shopping cart and put Toddler Boy in, and I grabbed a shopping cart and put Baby Girl in.  We find it’s easier and faster if we separate the kids – plus we usually need both carts these days.  

 

Our very first find was not on our list!  It was a GIANT, red bean bag.  We’ve been casually looking for a bean bag for about a year now.  Our criteria was that we wanted it to be somewhat big, made of fabric that can be wiped off, and a color that would match toddler boy’s new room.   Well, we found it!  Although now is not the best time financially for us to make a purchase like this ($50), we did so in the fear that we wouldn’t find one this great in the near future.  Because this was the ONLY red one they had left, we had to take it with us to do all of our shopping.  The bean bag took up my whole cart and then some!  I’m pretty sure I knocked several items off shelves as I tried to maneuver through the aisles. 

  

After Kel’s cart was full (which didn’t take long), we had to lift the bean bag up each time to put items in my cart.  This, in itself, added on at least an additional 15 minutes to our trip because we had to delicately stuff the bean bag back in the cart each time without smashing our groceries.  Once we checked out, we were relieved to finally have the akwardness of the bean bag behind us…or so we thought!  

 

After we found our car, we unloaded the kids and put them in their carseats.  It wasn’t until we both reached the back of the Vue to put the groceries in that it hit us…how are we going to fit everything in here?!  We just stood there for a moment laughing at our stupidity.  Even some people walking by us chuckled at our dilemma.  Although it was fairly clear that not all was going to fit, I thought I’d try just the same.  I picked up the monstrous bean bag and tried to shove it in the back.  It, alone, would not fit in the car.  At this point, I began to put our other items in the back of the Vue while Kelli called her mom to bail us out!   

Have I mentioned lately that I have the best mother-in-law in the world?!

No...the bra and clothes on the right were not just purchased...they were from a previous swimming adventure!

In order to get out of people’s way and to seem a little less inconspicuous, we threw the bean bag on top of the car.      

Did I say a little less inconspicuous?!

Since it was about 100 degrees outside, we turned on the AC for the kiddos and gave them some cookies to munch on.     

Baby Girl & Toddler Boy content with cookies!!

Kelli’s wonderful mom arrived and we loaded the bean bag into her car before heading home.    

We've determined the Ford Edge has more room than the Saturn Vue!

It swallowed Kelli as she attempted to take it in the house.    

Attack of the killer bean bag!!

Needless to say, I hope this is a mistake we only make once!!!    

eBay

Well, my goal for blogging once a day has completely failed.  Not for lack of stories, mind you.  Rather, due to lack of time!  Any spare moments I’ve had these last two weeks have been spent working on eBay.  In the last 20 days, I’ve listed over 100 items – mostly Allie’s summer clothes from last year and some of mine.  I wish I was faster at listing them.  It’s so time-consuming and I still have SO much to list!  My plan for this being our supplemental income isn’t working out too well.  I’m finding that everything I’m making is going right back into paying the eBay, Auctiva, and PayPal fees.  The only good thing is that we’re finally getting rid of some stuff!!  I guess the other good thing about it is the little money I do make from eBay is paying for the kids’ clothes I buy on eBay!  I’m a total bargain shopper!  Rarely do I pay more than .99 for an item.  But then there’s the shipping/handling charges that hike the price up a bit.  But it’s still better than paying full price at the store!!  With two little ones, they outgrow their clothes every few months!  Until I figure out a way to make more money working from home, eBay will have to do! 

If you know of anybody who has a little girl who wears anywhere from NB to 12 months, or a little boy who wears 12 months to 2T, please send them my eBay link!  I’m selling things really cheap!!   http://shop.ebay.com/kansasgirl/m.html?_nkw=&_armrs=1&_from=&_ipg=&_trksid=p3686

My eBay Page

Choices, Cookies & Kids

As many of you know, we’ve been having concerns with toddler boy’s tantrums, anxieties, and control issues.  He’s exhibited some extreme, negative behaviors ever since the day he was brought to us.  Although he’s probably justified in his behaviors due to his horrific, first 16 months on Earth, it’s not always easy to cope with these behaviors on a daily basis!  A therapist recently recommended a video to me by Dr. Gary Landreth called “Choices, Cookies & Kids.”  Because the video is very expensive ($50), he let me watch his.  It was about 40 minutes long and was full of wonderful information.  I HIGHLY recommend this to all you parents out there, especially those of you who have similar behavior problems.

Basically, the theory is that if you are creative and consistent with the way in which you give your child choices, you help them to make good decisions on their own and promote self-control and self-responsibility.   By giving them certain choices based upon their age, you are providing boundaries and behavior expectations.  I started using these techniques on toddler boy yesterday, and they are already proving to be invaluable.

The best part about this technique is that the child must take responsibility for their own actions.  For example, toddler boy kept getting out of bed during his nap.  Finally, I said “If you lay down and take your nap, then you choose to sleep with your bunny and blankie.  If you get out of bed and scream or cry, you choose to sleep without your bunny and blankie.  What do you choose?”  His bunny and blankie are very important to him, so he didn’t hesitate in choosing to stay in bed and take his nap.  But had he gotten out of bed again, I simply would have said, “I see you chose to sleep without your bunny and blankie.”  I would have then removed them from his bed, and left the room.  The choice was his, not mine!  Follow-through is super important with this technique. 

Probably one of the most frustrating things Kelli and I do to ourselves is make the consequence hurt us as well.  For example, we often say “If you are naughty and don’t listen to mommy and momma, we will put you in the car and go home.”  First of all, we don’t always follow-through with our threat even when he is super naughty.  And when we do, we are often frustrated because we didn’t want to leave.  We will have to get creative in the choices we give toddler boy from now on when we are out and about.  Afterall, he needs to learn how to behave in public, and we need to be able to shop for food and such without wanting to crawl under the nearest rock!

You’s Got Muscles!

This fourth of July was action-packed for us and our little ones.  Kelli’s entire family comes back every year from all over the United States to blow things up.  It’s a fireworks family fest for at least four days!!  The kids had so much fun because all of their older second cousins just doted on them.  The older boys just loved rough-housing with toddler boy and flying him around like Superman!  The older girls tried to carry baby girl EVERYWHERE!  It was adorable…our kids ate it up! 

                                                                         

It’s too bad we only see these cousins about twice a year – at Christmas and 4th of July.  Especially since most of them actually live close by!  But because of this, and because toddler boy is only 2, his retention for all of their names hadn’t held up since he last saw them at Christmas.  Multiple times throughout the weekend, he would go up to one of his cousins and ask “what’s your’s name”?  I love how all of his pronouns are pluralized!  At one point, one of his oldest male cousins was lifting him into the air.  Toddler boy, looking him right in the face and pointing, asked “What’s your’s name?”  “Jerrod” he said, as he lifted toddler boy into the air.  Very impressed, toddler boy said “You’s got muscles!”  And then he proceeded to feel his forearms.   

Toddler boy has just recently become infatuated with his own muscles.  It’s our fault really.  We’ve been telling him that if he eats his vegetables, he’ll get big muscles like Papa.  However, he’s convinced that his muscles are in his forearms only!  That’s where he wants people to feel when he tells them “feel my muscles”!  We think it’s pretty cute!

Blog Frustrations and Peeing

For the past few days, I’ve been trying to find a way to make the appearance of my blog more “me”.  There are not many choices for themes with WordPress, and the ones they have don’t really mesh with what I want.  The way I see it, I have three choices.  I can just deal with it and keep the boring layout; I can switch to another blog site; or I can pay to upgrade this one so that I can design my own.  I’ll let you know what I decide.  

I have felt pretty confident raising kids without an adult male in the house.  Don’t get me wrong…we love to have our kids around lots of positive male role models…especially since toddler boy got a raw deal with his very first male role model.  And we are lucky enough to have lots of them in our life.  Kelli and I have enough stereotypical masculine influences between ourselves that we have never ‘missed’ or ‘wanted’ for an adult male in the house.  For example, both Kelli and I are good with tools and fixing things.  Kelli likes to rough-house with the kids.  I love to put things together (like the kitchen toddler boy got from Santa, the baby beds, etc).  Kelli’s good with cars (well…not fixing them, but buying them).  I don’t mind taking out the trash.  Kelli kills the spiders (if I beg her).  I can usually lift heavy things or open really tough jars.  Kelli loves to mow now that she has her beloved John Deere lawn tractor!!!  For the most part…we’ve got it covered.  Until now.  Which brings me to my topic for today…toddler boy and peeing.  Standing up that is.  

We have been potty training for a couple of months now.  We are nowhere near putting him in big boy underpants yet, but we do use pull-ups most of the time.  We first taught him to go potty on his potty chair – which took some getting used to (he sat on it for about three months before EVER actually pottying in it).  Now he has moved on to the big potty, which he just loves.  However, up until now, we had only taught him to go sitting down – constantly reminding him to tuck his pee-pee in!   Today, at lunch, he asked me if he could “stand up like Avery” when he pees.  Avery is his six-year old buddy.  I thought about it for a moment, and gave him a resounding “yes”.  As much as I don’t want pee covering our floors and toilet, I know that he’s probably ready for it…especially since he has obviously been thinking about it and asked so nicely!   

 

Here’s the problem…I’ve never peed (is that how you spell it?) standing up!  I’ve also never written the word peed.  Hmmmm.  Just looks so wrong.  Anyways, I know you don’t necessarily have to be able to do something yourself in order to teach someone to do it…but I think there’s an amount of credibility that comes with it if you do!!  I quickly remembered the fruit loop trick that I had read about.  I told toddler boy that we would make it into a game by tossing a fruit loop into the toilet and trying to aim for the center.  He thought that sounded “so awesome” as he said.  In preparation, I put baby girl safely in her pack-n-play, moved all objects surrounding the toilet, and put a step stool in front of the toilet as toddler boy is very little for his age.  He stepped up, and as he tossed the fruit loop into the water, he announced  “I’ve got to go poopy”.  So much for the fruit loop!  Relieved, I helped him sit on the toilet to do his business.  I know I’m not out of the woods.  He will have to pee again.  So I put a stash of fruit loops on the bathroom sink for later, and told myself “we can do this…without a man…I hope!”  But just in case, men in our lives beware….we may be calling YOU for some “hands-on” (pardon the pun) advice if we find our bathroom spray-painted with pee.  

The target!

Terrible Two’s – Treacherous Three’s?

So one of my wonderful friend’s hosted a get-together this evening at her house for all of her friends who have little kids.  The idea was to give us parents a break and to help wear out the kids so that bedtime might come easier than usual.  She and her husband grilled for all of us as the kids played on a slip and slide in their backyard.  The evening was going pretty well as toddler boy and baby girl LOVE playing in the water any chance they get.  The trouble started when it was time to get out of the water and eat.  Baby girl screamed and kicked as I picked her up and headed toward the house.  She forgot all about the water once food was set in front of her.  Toddler boy was not so easy.  He had a fit as well when it was time to come out of the water, but when his food was set in front of him, he saw it as more of a nasty distraction rather than the welcomed sight his sister saw.   It was a bit of a struggle to get him to eat, but in the end, I think he managed to get down most of his hot dog and maybe a cheese puff. 

The mommies stayed inside with the kids eating and playing while the men caught up outside.  At one point, a few of the mommies started talking about the myth of the terrible two’s, and that it was the three’s that were far more trying for them.  Two of the mommies in the room each had a three-year-old.  They were speaking from experience.  And they were directing their warning towards me, as toddler boy will be three in a few months.  I must admit that this is not the first time I have heard other parents share this sentiment.  Even my own sister has told me this once or twice.  Normally, I think I would tend to have the attitude of “bring it on…I can handle it”.  But not with this.  I hear how bad the three’s can be and I just want to cry. 

Toddler boy has been having tantrums since he came to us at 16 months old.  Granted, he had been through a lot before he came to us.  But I’m not talking about ordinary toddler tantrums.  His tantrums can last for what seems forever and consist of hitting, kicking, screaming, yelling, crying, spitting, and pinching.  They are multiple times a day and they completely exhaust me, not to mention hurt me.   I truly feel we’ve come a long way since he stepped foot inside our house.  Yet the tantrums, attitude, and bad behaviors are still a part of our daily existence.  So when I hear other mothers say how much worse the three’s are than the two’s, I simply wilt inside.  I question myself.  Will I be able to handle toddler boy if his behaviors only get worse?  What could he possibly do as a three-year-old that he doesn’t already do as a two-year-old?   Is baby girl going to be half as difficult as toddler boy? 

Sometimes I like to pretend that toddler boy is SO advanced, and that’s why he’s having these horrible tantrums at age two instead of age three.  Yes, I realize my flaw.  He’s not three yet so how do I know that he won’t have these behaviors then?   Well, I don’t…but a mommy can dream can’t she?

Well, in true toddler boy fashion, he felt the need to show off his tantrum skills to the whole room.  We were simply trying to get his swimming trunks and swim pull-up off, and his diaper and clothes back on before we left for the night.  To him, this was the end of the world as it meant that playing in the water was finished.  He started thrashing as partner tried to complete this task.  After kicking and hurting her, I took over.  Meanwhile, other kids and mommies in the room tried to distract him in hopes of making my job easier.  This only fueled his tantrum as he now had a captive audience.  He kicked me, hit me, poked me in the eye, ripped his diaper off, head-butted me, and then tried to run off.  Part of me wanted to scream, “SERIOUSLY…THREE’S ARE WORSE THAN THIS?!”  But I didn’t.  I handed the diaper and clothes back to partner for her second attempt, and then I took a deep breath and focused my attention on baby girl who was quietly watching it all.  I certainly hope she wasn’t taking notes!!!!

Napping

Because I’m going to do my very best to keep our kiddo’s identities top-secret (foster kids privacy laws, etc), I will refer to them as “toddler boy” and “baby girl”.  Every day after lunch, for as long as we’ve had the kids (over a year now), it’s nap time.  Although it’s nothing new, and we are very consistent with it, somehow toddler boy thinks it’s negotiable on a daily basis.  Today, I explained to him that after his nap, he and baby girl would get to go to Nanny and Papa’s for the rest of the day.  Knowing how much he likes to go to their house, I expected him to start throwing a fit right then to go ‘today’!  In toddler boy’s world, ‘today’ means ‘right now’!  Instead, he nodded in agreement as he finished the last bites of his lunch.  Maybe we’re on to a new phase I pleasantly thought to myself.  Could it be?  No more arguing, screaming, crying, or bargaining at nap time?  The kids followed me into toddler boys room so that I could change their diapers.  Baby girl – done.  Toddler boy – not so easy.  The bargaining started as I tried to lift him onto the changing table. 

“Mommy, I being a good boy – no nap today.”

“Yes, you are being a good boy, but you still need to take a nap.  As soon as you wake up, I will take you to Nanny & Papa’s.”

Oh my goodness!  Toddler boy started kicking and screaming, and doing everything in his power to make the diaper change as challenging as possible for me to complete!  When I was done (with the diaper completely askew), I lifted him into his bed, picked up baby girl, and told him “good night”.  Well, the screaming got louder and he started kicking the wall and throwing his blankets off the bed.  I continued to exit and shut his door, making my way upstairs to put baby girl in her crib.  Once she was tucked in, I headed into my bedroom to see the spectacle on the video monitor that I could plainly hear all the way upstairs.  Have I mentioned that I LOVE video monitors?  They provide hours of entertainment in the comfort of your own room!  As the screaming started to subside, I was able to start making out several angry phrases directed at me.  I believe they went something like this…

“I not love you anymore mommy!”

“I spit on you!”

“You naughty mommy!”

“Baby girl spit on you too!”

“I not take nap mommy!”

A variation of the phrases continued to spew out of his mouth for about 15 more minutes.  Some of them had me laughing, but some of them made me really sad to think that having to take a nap could make him this angry!  When I saw that he was starting to calm down, I opened his door and sat on his bed to talk things out.  He immediately tucked his head into his covers to hide when I entered the room.  I just sat there silently until he popped out and crawled into my lap.  He looked up at me with a guilty smile, expecting to be reprimanded for his behavior.  I told him that I understood he was angry, and I acknowledged that taking a nap is not something that he likes to do, but I told him that he still had to do it.  And then I told him that even when he was being terribly naughty, I still loved him very much.  At that moment, he reached up and grabbed my neck and said “I love you mommy”!  Ahhhh…those moments make all the difficult ones completely worth it.  He then slid under his covers and closed his eyes.  Yay naps!!!!

Am I Really Doing This?!

This is my first attempt at blogging, and I’m feeling a lot of pressure about this initial post.  I think I’m afraid of so many things, that I’ve been psyching myself out of starting a blog for several years now!  I’m afraid of not having interesting content, I’m afraid of my grammar being less than tolerable, and I’m afraid of putting my foot in my mouth (which I often do)!  So consider this my official apology in advance, as I have decided to temporarily put my fears aside and just jump in!

I have decided to blog for three primary reasons.  The first is so that I have some sort of a diary of my life for my kids to read years and years down the road.  Not that my life is incredibly interesting, it’s just that my mom passed away when I young, and I would give anything now to know more about her – her fears, her hopes, her frustrations, her passions, etc.  The second reason for this blog is to hopefully make myself publicly accountable.  My reasoning is that if I have the gumption to write about something, I will be truer to myself and follow through on things so as not to disappoint others.   Yes, I know it’s sad…but I DO care what you think!  My last reason for wanting to blog is because I can’t afford therapy!  Seriously though, this is a place where I can have a voice and let it be heard read!  Hopefully I can not only catch friends and family up on our daily lives, but I can also connect with others who will encourage and inspire me, and for whom I can hopefully do the same.  

My goal is to post at least once a day.  My posts will most likely be about my foster kids (identies will be kept private of course) and the foster system, my eBay business (or lack thereof), my wonderful partner in life, our four-legged family members, crafting, and maybe a few lessons I’ve learned in my forty years!   

Please feel free to share your opinions or just say hello.  This blog has offically started!